24-04-12

time for a quick update to help me remember.

following thursdays nightmare, i decided it best to check if ok to take mk1 and mk2 to the hospice on saturday.
bh agreed.
so, we got up, packed a picnic, various gameboys, and set off.
and all things considered, the day was quite pleasant (relatively speaking), despite it being clear that things were getting worse.
still, at least the lads got a chance to tell her bits-n-bobs of their lives.
since then the daily routine has kicked in.
i get up, see off mk1 to school, sort out mk2, clear up the breakfast warzone, and then head to the hospice full of fear and dread as to what i’m walking into.
as it is, bh has hit a bit of a plateau, i’d sit by her bed wait for her to stir, try some degree of aimless chat, and generally hang out with my best friend.
this is not that easy as in the last few days beyond the odd mumbled word, bh has lost the power of speech.
well, i say that.
she talks to various hallucinations in her mother tongue, and then when i do something not right, she still has the capacity to bollock me in english, leading me to chuckle from time to time.
inappropriate reaction that may be, but hey.
then at midday, i’d feed her some lunch (i say lunch, for bh this involves a mere morsel or two).
which has been ok, until today, when it became very clear that despite the drug excess, she hit a whole new league of pain and discomfort.
following the lunch a new pain kicked in.
this time there was genuine fear in her eyes, something that i’ve not really seen before.
to say the whole situation was distressing for us both would be an understatement of the largest magnitude. eventually, the relevant care people came, gave her more immediate pain relief, anxiety leveling pills, and after a patience testing 10 minutes bh calmed down.

a few minutes later and she was back in the land of drug induced fug, and it was time for me to head back to the real world.

tomorrow is another day.

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